Buying A Home For The First Time With A Partner? 9 Must Ask Questions.

Couples often buy homes together without marriage, but it can be complicated later without planning.

Buying A Home With Your Partner: The Conversations You Need To Have

There's nothing more exciting than finding the one to find the one with - as in house. No one wants to rain on the parade by thinking about what could go wrong down the line, but if you are buying a home with someone without the legal protections of marriage, you need to have the right conversation just in case. Not only that, but most of these are questions married couples should be asking themselves.

Here are 9 questions to kick off your house hunting journey.

1. Where do we actually want to live?

This sounds obvious, but location is everything. Do you see yourselves in the city—maybe walkable spots like Lawrenceville or the South Side? Or is your vibe more Mt. Lebanon or Cranberry with room to grow?

Think about:

• Where your jobs are located

• Proximity to family or friends

• Lifestyle fit (walkability, nightlife, outdoor space)

• Commute time (Pittsburgh traffic can surprise you)

If you're unsure, I help buyers explore neighborhoods that match their lifestyle and budget. Sometimes the right fit isn’t where you first expected.

2. Are there any financial speed bumps we should tackle first?

Buying a home in Pittsburgh can be surprisingly affordable—but if you’ve got credit concerns, student loans, or job changes on the horizon, you’ll want to address those before applying for a mortgage.

Mortgage lenders look at:

• Your debt-to-income ratio

• Credit history (get your mortgage score, not just your Credit Karma one)

• Employment history and income stability

Not sure where to start? I’ve got trusted lender contacts and can help you build a game plan, whether you’re buying in 3 months or 13.

3. What’s our realistic budget?

Time for the spreadsheet (or at least a cocktail and a calculator). Talk about what you’re comfortable spending—not just what a lender says you can afford. Pittsburgh’s real estate market offers options across the board, but you’ll want to leave room for emergencies, future upgrades, and maybe even a wedding or new addition (fur baby or human).

Bonus: Check out my calculator page where you can calculate how much home you can afford to buy, mortgage calculators, and more here.

4. How are we splitting expenses?

Joint bank account? 50/50? Proportional based on income?

It’s not just about the mortgage—there’s insurance, property taxes, maintenance, and unexpected costs (ask any homeowner about the joys of hot water tanks). What matters is that your system feels fair and sustainable for both of you.

5. How long do we see ourselves staying in this home?

Dog dads and morning coffee.

If you think you’ll move again in a few years, you might approac/h things differently than if you’re buying a “forever home.” Most experts suggest staying put for at least five years to build equity and offset closing costs.

As a Pittsburgh agent, I help clients think ahead—whether it’s resale value or future potential (finished basement, anyone?).

6. Will we start a family here?

Whether that means kids, dogs, or both—your plans can affect:

• Square footage and layout needs

• School districts (Upper St. Clair, Fox Chapel, and North Allegheny are all popular)

• Proximity to parks, playgrounds, and pediatricians

Even if babies aren’t in your plans just yet, thinking ahead now can save you a move later if you are planning a family down the line.

7. What are our must-haves and nice-to-haves?

This is where the dream house vision comes in. Sit down and each list 2-3 non-negotiables (things like garage, yard, office space) and 2-3 “would be nice” items.

You’ll probably have to compromise somewhere—but having clarity makes house hunting so much smoother. And yes, I’ll help you find the home that checks the most boxes without checking your sanity.

8. What’s our timeline?

Ready to buy now? Need 6 more months to save or finish a lease? That’s fine—just get on the same page.

I work with couples at every stage, from just-browsing to offer-ready. We can create a shared portal to track listings and goals, so no one’s left wondering, “Are we doing this or not?”

9. What happens if we split up?

It’s not romantic, but it’s realistic. What if the relationship ends? What if one of you wants to sell and the other doesn’t?

If you’re not married, I strongly recommend speaking with a real estate attorney about a cohabitation agreement. It’s like a prenup for your property—and it can save a lot of heartache later. No one likes to imagine their future with their partner being un-partnered, but it's happened to the best of us. If you're not married — which has its own built in legal protections, you know what they say about cover your ass. That is unless we find you an amazing secluded property with a pool and no nosey neighbors like Gladys Kravitz. Then the ass cover is optional.

Final Thought: A Great Partnership Starts with Great Communication

Buying a home together is a huge step—but when you’re aligned on your goals, your finances, and your vision, it’s one of the most rewarding journeys you can take as a couple.

If you're ready to start house hunting in Pittsburgh—or just want to talk through your options—I’m here to help. Whether it’s a starter home in Bloomfield or a family-sized Colonial in Robinson, I’ll guide you every step of the way (and Peanut might even tag along).

Ready to start buying? Schedule a free, no obligation home buyer's consultation. No heavy-handed high pressure scummy sales pitches. Just great free advice.... and optionally, doggie kisses if you want Peanut to come along.